Mrs. Magellan looked sad.
Her computer was broken.
She asked me if I could fix it but I declined.
Computers are just a nuisance to me.
Not that I hate them or anything.
I prefer driving around in my Mini-Cooper.
Later I saw John Puterhead with Mrs. Magellan’s computer under his arm.
I knew it was in good hands.
Mrs. Magellan was sitting in the coffee shop.
I came in and saw her and said, ‘hello’.
She said, What are you doing here?
I’m getting coffee.
Why don’t you make it at home?
Because I like the coffee shop.
You should make it at home.
Maybe I don’t really have the rapport I thought I had.
I ordered my coffee and sat down next to Mrs. Magellan.
How are you Mrs. Magellan?
Not good (actually she said nog good, I think she has a cold).
My son is embarrassing me. He refuses to get a job.
He’s a lot like that guy in our building, John.
Yeah,,, John. He writes.
My son thinks he’s a writer. It’s a completely worthless profession.
What would be a good profession for your son?
He was in banking. He was good at that.
This was a hard conversation to have. I think I’ll start dreaming now.
Mrs. Magellan stops at the same sign every day.
It is by the main road just outside our building.
There is nothing special about the sign or its position,
but she started hating it a couple of weeks ago.
It occurred to her that if she ran it over
she wouldn’t have to stop there anymore.
She held that thought for a while, until today.
I saw the sign was down.
There were some tire treads on either side of it.
I hope she arrived safely at her destination.
I saw her walking back to the building.
She was carrying a large wrench —
could hardly lift it,
but she seemed utterly happy about something.
I said ‘hi’ and she said ‘hi’ and
I continued down the entrance driveway,
to the street, where I saw a large street lamp
lying across the main road.
A long line of mini coopers collected by
the fallen street lamp.
On the ground, around the base of the street lamp,
were some large nuts that had been taken off.
The lamp had fallen into the street.
Mrs. Magellan stopped me in the hall.
She wanted to join the Lazyites Club.
I told her she didn’t have to do anything.
But she wouldn’t take that as an answer.
I said, really, all you have to do is say
you’re a member. There are no duties at all.
It’s just something fun to say.
She insisted on doing something though.
So I had to tell her that if she insisted
on doing something then she wasn’t lazy enough
to be in the club. I think she got the message
but I’m a bit worn out.
People heard Mrs. Magellan shouting.
We all went to her door and shouted back.
She shouted again.
Finally, John came out.
What is going on? we said.
She killed a bat with a piece of toast.