John’s Story of the 3 Voles

John published another story.
You might remember the first two.

There once were three voles.
They lived in three houses right next to each other.
Every chance they got they stole food from the other two voles.
When the middle vole went shopping the other two would steal his food.
When the vole on the left went out the other two voles would steal his food.
This was inconvenient.
So the middle vole suggested they go on a quest for food, together.
So they did.
In the middle of the trek, the middle vole had an idea.
He said he was sick and headed home.
He stole the other voles food and ate it in his kitchen, just like it was his own.
The other two voles found their food gone when they came home.
They went out to complain to the moon.
They saw each other in the moonlight, complaining,,,
and then they had an idea.
They jumped up on the middle voles roof and did a dance to annoy him.
He came out of his house and the two voles on the roof spat at him so he had to go back inside.
The next day a big cat moved into the neighborhood.
And the voles didn’t go out anymore.
They had their food delivered.

Brilliant, I say.

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John’s Excuse

He said Pinketoon challenged him.
Chained him like a big dog, he said.
So he took the challenge,
but changed the lock on his door.
See if she’ll be up to that challenge, he said.

So much for his love life, I guess.

John and I went to the dog park to philosophize.
Dogs are wise.
I thought we might learn something.

Pinketoon and John

I saw Pinketoon out in the parking lot.
John was following her,
because she had a leash attached to his neck,
pulling him along.
Pinketoon was skipping or mock skipping around.
I couldn’t tell which.
John followed unresistingly.
What the heck?

Communications 101

John thought he should become a public speaker.
He attended a class to learn all about it.
Armapple Communications was giving the seminar.
John walked away confused.
He said the tenet of the class included the following ideas:

  1. Pursue your dreams.
  2. Write a seminar.
  3. Learn to use the same slide deck over and over.

Speak about anything you want using the same slide deck.

I thought about this for a while. It has profound implications.

John and Pinketoon

They were standing in the parking lot.
Talking, talking, talking.
Pinketoon looked happy,
gaily chattering away.
John was animated.
They were there for over an hour together.
Then they moved off to the gazebo by the pond.
I don’t think we have to wonder what’s happening here.
Linkyshire does wonderful things for people.

John Arrives

John is back.
He says he was in Antarctica on a trip.
Don’t believe it. And remember he is from Finland not Antarctica.

When I bumped into him a second time he said he was in the woods for four months.
That is believable.

I know what I want to do now, he said.
What?
I have to find a woman to marry, he said.
But to get a woman I have to get a job, he said.
To get a job I have to take a shower, he said.

Sounds like a productive time in the woods, I thought.