Day 2: Dr. Armapple

Miss Nurse and Doctor Armapple are my best friends ever.
Miss Nurse said my recuperative sleep was over.
It lasted a month which isn’t unusual.
It was a nice, healthful, programmed sleep, she said.
She is great. She always wears pink.
And it was a great sleep.
I remember parts of a dream I had.
I’m going to write it down.
I remember a town.
It’s name was Linkyshire.
I think that’s a great name for a town.


For Men: Instructions for a Proper Date

I heard this on the TV the other day on the local Linkyshire station.
I think Mayor Armapple was interviewing a resident psychiatrist…

It was stated with sincerity.

I thought I’d pass it along to you.

  1. Go to a coffee shop.
  2. Get coffee.
  3. Sit down next to a girl you think you like.
  4. Or wait for one to come into the coffee shop. It could take a while.
  5. Strike up a conversation.
  6. Then ask, “Would you like to grab a cup of coffee sometime?”

Communications 101

John thought he should become a public speaker.
He attended a class to learn all about it.
Armapple Communications was giving the seminar.
John walked away confused.
He said the tenet of the class included the following ideas:

  1. Pursue your dreams.
  2. Write a seminar.
  3. Learn to use the same slide deck over and over.

Speak about anything you want using the same slide deck.

I thought about this for a while. It has profound implications.

Dog Park

Pinky and I wanted to go to the dog park,
but, we didn’t have a dog.
We’d thought about getting a dog,
but, we never did.
So now we had a problem.
How to get into the dog park?
Cuz, you can’t get in without one.
We meandered over to the dog park
and noticed a dog rental shop,
Proprietor: Oliver Armapple.
On the other side of the block we saw
a dog kennel, Proprietor: Oliver Armapple.
So we rented someone’s dog and took it to the dog park.
It was great watching our dog frolic in the lake.

John Puterhead Answers a Question About the Militia

He said ‘hi’.
I said ‘hi’.
He introduced himself as John Puterhead.
I asked him if he knew about the Linkyshire Militia since it was on my mind.
He looked at me a little puzzled and then quickly asked me,
You mean ‘The Militia? The video game?
A video game?
Yeah, it was popular a few years ago. It’s old hat now.
Oh, I said. Can you find out if Mayor Armapple plays that game?
Sure, he said. He looked at his phone and pressed it a few times.
He’s a member of the Linky Militia, ranked 10th.
Thanks, I said. (I didn’t care about the ranking).


Every time we talk we mention the word ‘militia’.
Pinky thinks Armapple was trying to be nice.
Militia is on my tongue when I brush my teeth.
There is nothing I can do about it.
I await the next step whatever it is.
I have no idea.

Armapple’s Office

Mayor Armapple’s office has nice Herman Miller chairs.
Mayor Armapple graduated from Herman Miller college in Woffsburg, Germany.
He said nice things about LInkyshire.
Then he asked me about my Mini-Cooper which is what polite Linkyshire people say to each other.
We talked about the weather.
Linkyshire’s weather is a bit toasty these days, he said.
Then he said some mean things about Evantonian which I appreciated.
I nodded my head when he said those things about Evantonian.
Then he asked me if I wanted to join the Linkyshire militia.
Linkyshire has a militia? I asked.
He told me to think about it and escorted me to the front of the town hall.
I got into my Mini-Cooper feeling scared.