Roger Mellon’s head is like a globe.
Not oval-roundy like a human head,
OK, that’s an exaggeration.
I don’t like my boss anymore.
He went to a conference to explain the new Y10k project
and offered me a ticket.
Mrs. Horath was not familiar with computers.
Except that she used one every day.
Today she hung it from a rope and it swayed in the wind outside her 3rd floor window.
It had a nice view.
She called me.
My computer is misbehaving, she said.
I’ll come right over.
I asked her to show me the problem.
She showed me the rope.
What would John Puterhead do?
Today was a bright boring day.
There was a lot of sunlight.
There was nothing to do.
Nothing rolled around in my mind.
So I dialed.
It was a random number.
Someone in a call center picked up the line.
Hello, random number company.
Hi, how are you? I said.
Fine, may I ask who’s calling?
Brewster, I said.
Hi Brewster, do you have a reference number?
No, sorry I don’t.
Alright, when was the last time you called?
I can’t remember ever having called before.
OK, how can I help you?
Can you relieve my boredom? I queried.
Laughs. I’m sorry, we can’t really help with that.
I see. What else would you be willing to talk about?
I have to go. Click.
I was a short, but pleasant call.
There’s a genre I like to call “Men with Guns”.
The guy is tough, way beyond normal.
He doesn’t care about himself or anything else.
Well, maybe a cool looking girl captures his attention.
Yeah, he has that in his life.
Usually this tough guy
is surrounded or chased
by a cabal of other tough guys
who don’t care about anything except their jobs.
I went to one of these movies recently
and didn’t care for it.
My sheets are nicely labeled.
Top or bottom.
But they no longer fit.
It’s a wonder they don’t rip.
Exhausted, I am, from heaving at them.
I went to the coffee shop but I didn’t have anything to do.
Really, I just wanted to get out.
I sat there with my laptop and typed furiously,
Making believe I was busy.
This is what I wrote:
Pretty good, huh?
Have you ever met a Glomville resident?
I met three today.
The first looked at me sheepishly as he shuffled along.
The second was arguing with her handbag.
I took a break in the Glomville coffee shop.
It was the wrong decision.
The barrista couldn’t take my order due to rapid yawning.
Why did I visit Glomville?