Self-Portrait & Invite

I do yoga to ‘Street Fighting Man.’
I am pretty good at eating an orange.
I am very opinionated although I do not care about too many things.
I prefer cool, cloudy weather.
Drinking tea is nice.
I’m President of the Lazyites Club.

If you want to meet me hang out at the Linkyshire coffee shop.

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Fly Season

Or summer as it is sometimes called,
Is coming again.
I am not looking forward to it.
The other day, a big ugly fly banged into my head.
Annoying, and just like fly season.
Iceland sounds better.
I think I’ll go there this summer.

For Men: Instructions for a Proper Date

I heard this on the TV the other day on the local Linkyshire station.
I think Mayor Armapple was interviewing a resident psychiatrist…

It was stated with sincerity.

I thought I’d pass it along to you.

  1. Go to a coffee shop.
  2. Get coffee.
  3. Sit down next to a girl you think you like.
  4. Or wait for one to come into the coffee shop. It could take a while.
  5. Strike up a conversation.
  6. Then ask, “Would you like to grab a cup of coffee sometime?”

Keyboard Karma

Bought a new keyboard for my laptop.
Had to use an old keyboard tray to put it on.
Had to turn the table over to install the keyboard tray.
The table was a lot heavier than I anticipated.
Had to find a drill to drill the holes for the tray but
I only had a high speed drill that burned the wood a little…
No permanent damage but…
The keyboard tray forced my sitting position back…
which forced my chair back…
over the edge of the carpet so…
I had to change the direction of the carpet to account for the distance.
But the carpet was dirty so I had to clean up the floor.
But then everything on my desk was out of reach so…
I had to rearrange my desk and then my file cabinet.

It was a lot of work.
I hope my idiocy isn’t permanent.