John Puterhead

John Puterhead moved in last night.
He is like Johnny Appleseed in a way.
He helps people with their computers.
He’s nice.
He helped Mrs. Magellan send an email.
And he helped Arbo who was trying to hack into a website.
I’m not sure if that counts.
He said ‘hi’ to me in the hall.
I hope he’s nice.
I hope he’s not in the militia.


I Dream of Pinkyshire

Pinky did not want me to come to her new place.
She said I was too big for Pinkyshire.
But I went anyway.
I knew my Mini-Cooper was the right size.
The stepping stones to her new pink house were
small, small, small.
I had to tiptoe to her little front door.
My knocking on it seemed to rattle the whole neighborhood.
When she opened the door she had on a little pink bonnet.
She was smaller than I remembered her to be.
She had shrunk, I was sure of that.
She had even shortened her name to “Pink”.
Then I remembered that I was in my own dream.


Every time we talk we mention the word ‘militia’.
Pinky thinks Armapple was trying to be nice.
Militia is on my tongue when I brush my teeth.
There is nothing I can do about it.
I await the next step whatever it is.
I have no idea.

Armapple’s Office

Mayor Armapple’s office has nice Herman Miller chairs.
Mayor Armapple graduated from Herman Miller college in Woffsburg, Germany.
He said nice things about LInkyshire.
Then he asked me about my Mini-Cooper which is what polite Linkyshire people say to each other.
We talked about the weather.
Linkyshire’s weather is a bit toasty these days, he said.
Then he said some mean things about Evantonian which I appreciated.
I nodded my head when he said those things about Evantonian.
Then he asked me if I wanted to join the Linkyshire militia.
Linkyshire has a militia? I asked.
He told me to think about it and escorted me to the front of the town hall.
I got into my Mini-Cooper feeling scared.