Cooking at Home

I take one heirloom tomato.
I put the tomato on a cutting board.
I core out the top.
I slice the tomato on the cutting board.
The tomato rocks into two pieces and
Tomato juice covers the board.
I quickly slice the tomato halves into pieces.
This is the best part now.
I put salt on the cutting board.
Then rub the tomato on the salt.
Eating the tomato and rinsing the board
Means the whole thing is over with.

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Wray Joogles Takes a Walk

I found Wray Joogles wandering around my neighborhood,
Holding a leash to a black lab.
I had to wonder, since it was after midnight.
He was not walking normally, but he was also not walking in a drunken fashion.
I find myself thinking about this incident often.
His silhouette in front of the street light.
I hope I don’t lose sleep over it.

Legal Documents

I received some legal documents for a project that will remain nameless.

This is what they look like to me:

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Mini Spotter

Wray Joogles loves Mini Coopers
Just like me.
But he spends way too much time trying to spot them.
I found him eating his lunch on a hill.
He had a nice set of binoculars
and was very happy to be spotting so many Mini Coopers
In Linkyshire.
I was flattered by that in some weird way.

Mrs. Horath and Her Computer

Mrs. Horath was not familiar with computers.
Except that she used one every day.
Today she hung it from a rope and it swayed in the wind outside her 3rd floor window.
It had a nice view.

She called me.
My computer is misbehaving, she said.
I’ll come right over.

I asked her to show me the problem.
She showed me the rope.
What would John Puterhead do?